I wish I was a man in the 80s-90s madchester scene

♪ ♫ Listening to:
Tart Tart - Happy Mondays

January 29, 2026. Wednesday

I FUCKING HATE SCHOOL!!!!!! EVERY SINGLE day of this week I have been having tests, IT'S THE THIRD WEEK OF THIS SEMESTER AND I ALREADY HAVE EXAMS AHHHHHHHHHH afoihkhyasfiomuw-]nfu09wn. I HATE FRENCH AND IT'S STUPID VOCABULARY AND CONJUGATIONS. EL ESPAÑOL ES SUPERIOR EN TODOS LOS SENTIDOS, PINCHES FRANCES POR QUE SU GRAMATICA ES TAN ESTUPIDA. I say as I'm writting this instead of studying.

Anyways, Leave Them All Behind by Ride is objectively the best shoeaze song of all time, I lowkey do want to leave them all behind. I'm so akward and stupid brahhh, today I was hanging out with my friend who was a friend who's music taste is kind of similar to mine but I dislike, and as a joke I sent him a voice note of me saying that I like madchester more than him and called him a poser and some other stupid stuff as a joke which was fucking stupid, I did tell him it was a joke liek 5 times because I didn't want him to think I'm a total ass. That whole thing was very obtuse lol, my friend was cool about it tho, she knows I can do idiotic things. I'm probably overthinking it. He will probably forget about it. Ignoring that whole thing today was descent, I managed to talk to some of my classmates, I got a 96.8 on my history exam, and most importantly I got to see my friend Pau who I never get to see, I spent all afternoon with her. That was fun, I always enjoy her company, she makes the world seem brighter, she's a very happy and sweet person. The title of this entry had nothing to do with what I wrote other than mentioning the madchester scene lol, but I do wish I was alive when that happended, although I probably would have been a total junkie, specially if I was born in Manchester, I don't think I could endure 80's Manchester sober. I should have been in the Hacienda dancing to New Order while doing E :(

I just re-read this today and realized I was just typing nonesense.

First blog, friendships, change, school

♪ ♫ Listening to:
Delaware - Drop Nineteens

January 26, 2026. Monday

Yayy first "blog" post ever, if you can even call this a blog. Anyways, I always want to write diary entries but I always forget so I'm hoping having a diary in this format will actually help me write stuff.

For this year I decided to change schools because I was tired of my old one, I had been there my whole life and I decided I needed a change, plus the school I'm now in has a better level of education than my last one and overal better programs. I'm in my second semester now. It's still hard. One of my biggest reasons of why I moved school outside of academic is because I felt like I made all the friends I could have made and I was just tired about being there for my whole life. I have never been a social person, socializing has always been hard for me but still I went to this new school with hope of making deep, longlasting friendships. My expectations were to high. The first day of school I cried and cried all day when I got home. Just by slightly talking with my classmates I felt like I would probably wouldn't make true friendships, which was unfair, but atlast, I was right. The thing is, I like my classmates, their funny, nice, and overal cool people, there are some guys that I specially like, their very charismatic and I want to become friends with them. I struggle heavily to socialize, I don't know how or when to aproach people and what to talk about, I'm not sure how people do it. The funny thing is that I kinda miss my old school which is ironic because last year the only thing I wanted to do was change schools, I hated everyone (except my friends). Like I said, I like all my classmates which is a contrast to my previous school, my friends and family knew me as the girl who hated everyone. I miss my friends :(, they never made me feel like I was weird or that I didn't "fit in", they're the best. Now I have found myself in a quantity over quality situation, sure, my class is great and I don't dislike anyone but I haven't been able to make friends and in my last school I hated almost everyone but the friends I had were real. I never had a lot friends but now I only have three, two of them wich I don't share classes with. Even if I'm technically not alone I feel lonely. It has gotten a bit better, not because it's actually better but I have gotten used to it. I'm not good with change and I have never been and this situation has proven that. On the positive side, I like the campus of my new school and I'm part of an exchange program meaning I will be able to go to France, yay.